Honda releases global warming vehicle

Our editors have recently become aware of a new Honda vehicle apparently designed to destroy the earth* [please visit the footnote, especially if you are offended by any content in this article], the FCX Clarity. This is a new breed of automobile, powered by a hydrogen fuel cell. The way this works is that hydrogen is combined with oxygen inside the fuel cell, resulting in the production of electric power (the desired product) and by-production of water vapor and heat. These two components, water vapor and heat, are hazardous to our environment.

For those unfamiliar with the concept of human-induced global warming, the basic idea is that human impact on the environment is causing an excess of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere (that is, either creation of gases in higher quantities than the earth's ecosystem would have before human influence, or reduction of the greenhouse gas sinks that would otherwise balance out the increased production of greenhouse gases). It should be noted that water vapor (and not carbon dioxide) is the largest contributor to greenhouse heating of the earth, causing between 36 and 70% of the greenhouse effect our planet experiences. If fuel cell vehicles become a major component of our transportation system, water vapor emissions will cause the amount of water vapor in the earth's atmosphere to increase. In addition, the heating of the atmosphere (heat is another byproduct of the fuel cell reaction) will allow the atmosphere to retain a higher level of water vapor, resulting in a positive-feedback effect on the potential runaway greenhouse effect (that is, it will amplify the greenhouse effect being caused by other human induced greenhouse gas increases, to the point that the change will become irreversible).

It should be noted that Honda's initial commercial test run is being performed in a limited number of cities in southern California. Presumably this will allow additional environmental testing in the area to ascertain the effectiveness of the fuel cell powered vehicles on increasing both local temperature and atmospheric water vapor levels before a world-wide release that would be designed to further impact the environment and increase global warming. Apparently the Japanese need more inhabitable land area due to their population and, having failed to increase their land area during WWII, have decided that defrosting the northern island by increasing its average temperature through global warming will allow more people to comfortably inhabit the area (the increased temperatures of the southern islands will be combatted by increased air conditioning usage - including the use of old-fashioned R-12 freon, which will help with the scheme of increased global warming - and the installation of giant fans to provide a continual breeze across the whole land area).

* Yes, this is absurd. It is meant to be. But is it really any more absurd than the idea that humans really have the potential to cause earth-climate-changing effects? Stay tuned for more articles on the "hot" topic of global warming (pun intended).